


victims of our own gene pool

by fabulous_but_evil



Series: watching the signals that you send [4]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Be Careful What You Wish For, Best Friends, Cissexism, Depressing, Depression, Dialogue Heavy, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Titles, Ice Cream, Intense, Introspection, Introversion, Intrusive Thoughts, Male-Female Friendship, Not What It Looks Like, Random & Short, References to Depression, Romantic Friendship, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Sexism, Short & Sweet, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Timeline What Timeline, Trans Character, Trans Derek, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-01-14 14:51:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18478480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabulous_but_evil/pseuds/fabulous_but_evil
Summary: Five Times JJ Said Something Seemingly Transphobic - Or Saneist - To Derek And One Time She Didn't. (Don't even ask.)





	1. Chapter 1

"Ugh," JJ says, "why are men always so disorderly?"

"Hey," Derek says, feigning to take offence in what she'd said. "You should see my flat before making assumptions about roughly half of the Earth's population," he joked.

"Well, of course I wouldn't have expected anything else from you."

Her tone is light, teasing, joking, too, but he can't help furrowing an eyebrow at that.

"And why is that so?"

"You're simply Mr. Perfect," she grins. "Why else?"

He just shrugs. She didn't mean it  _like that_ , and Derek knows this, it's just hard to accept that not the whole world is against you sometimes, especially when you grew up believing exactly that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, while plotting this, I randomly decided to write Derek having an eating disorder, so if that triggers you, please consider not reading any further.  
> I personally do not struggle with an ED and drew my inspiration solely from [this article](https://www.recoverywarriors.com/things-not-say-to-someone-eating-disorder/), so if I get anything wrong, please feel free to point that out to me.

"Did you see the chocolate chip ice cream? I thought I'd bought some more yesterday..."

Derek shifted unconfortably in his seat on the couch. He felt sick.

"Derek?"

"Huh?" He swallowed three times in rapid succession in order to keep himself from throwing up all over JJ's living room floor.

"Did you hear what I just said?"

 _YES OF COURSE I DID!_ , he thinks, and his head hurts from JJ's words echoing in his mind, the ones she said and the ones she didn't.

She'd said _Did you see the chocolate chip ice cream? I thought I'd bought some more yesterday..._ but Derek knew what she really meant was  _HEY YOU FAT FUCK HOW DARE YOU EAT MY FAVOURITE ICE CREAM ONCE AGAIN YOU'RE FUCKING USELESS YOU FILTHY PIECE OF TRASH YOU DO NOTHING BUT COST ME MONEY YOU SHOULD GO AND KILL YOURSELF THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER WITHOUT YOU-_

He jumps to his feet with a start, and runs for the bathroom.

"Derek? Are you okay?"

 _NO OF COURSE I'M NOT_ , he thinks, and just before his self-hatred can turn into something else, making him lash out at poor, innocent JJ, he doesn't think anything anymore, because he's throwing up into JJ's toilet.

"Oh my god, Derek," she says somewhere behind him, and he wishes he couldn't hear her.


End file.
